Kate Turns 3!

Kate eagerly anticipated her Tigger & Pooh birthday party for weeks. She talked about it everyday and continues to talk about it today. Her birthday kicks off the official season where we have a birthday party (and sometimes two) every week following. When we talk about her friends' birthdays, she always proudly announces, "I had a Tigger & Pooh party!"

Papa Paul came over a couple weeks before the party to help draw a few trees to transform the family room into the "Hundred Acre Woods." He spent hours drawing and painting three 8-ft trees with Keith while I created hunny pots. Keith also made several signs to complete the look.

Grandma Sandy and Aunt Jennifer came over the day before the party to help me get all the food ready and assist with putting up our decorations. It was terrific to have the extra hands this year. I actually had time to put on makeup, relax for a few minutes and greet our guests as they arrived.

After about an hour, "Eeyore" made an appearance and the kids were able to enjoy donkey rides. This was the highlight of Kate's day! At the end of the day, she said, "mommy, my favorite part was Eeyore.

The kids also pinned tails on a drawing of Eeyore and put on their Super Sleuth badges to help us solve our mystery and find Pooh (a pinata) and of course bounced away in the bouncehouse and played on the swingset.

Kate ripped through her presents in good time this year. Among her favorites are her pillow pet, Minnie dresses, a stuffed Pooh bear and Miss Bunny, Melissa and Doug grocery cart, stuffed Barney (the only thing she actually asked for) & cloth butterfly backpack (perfect size for Kate). She loves her new Olivia books and is having lots of fun in the bath tub with her swimming doll, bath baby and musical bath instruments. What a lucky girl. She was fascinated with her new Care Bears DVD for several days, but mommy and daddy weren't as big a fan as Kate, so we let her watch her first Disney movie...Pinnochio (one of her gifts). She is hooked and has been pretending to be Pinocchio all week.

At the end of the day, Kate (and mommy and daddy) all wanted to have a nice dinner at our favorite local restaurant...Giovanni's, of course! It was a perfect day for Kate.

Amazingly, Kate started complaining about her ears hurting around naptime the following day. When she awoke, she continued to cry and complain (something she's never done before). Keith and I were off to the doctor's office (yes, Sunday hours, thank goodness) to learn she had a double ear infection. Poor girl. Thank goodness it didn't start to bother her until after her special day.

A Rocky Start to 2011...

I scribbled some notes to include in Kate's blog around the middle of January. Things were hectic after the New Year. It started off great. Papa Ron turned 75 and we had a celebration for him--Kate really enjoyed decorating his hotel room and of course singing to him! After Papa's birthday, we went to the circus for a friend's birthday. Kate LOVED the circus, the animals, clowns. She spent a couple weeks pretending to be a "silly clown" and carried around her beloved White Bengel Tiger for a couple of weeks.

Then, I got really sick (in hindsight, I think it was a touch of the flu) and so did sweet Kate, but I didn't want to forget some of the amazing things she was doing...changes were slight, but major. She began drawing arms and legs on Mr. Potato Head-like faces, her circles were becoming rounder, she began playing school, working and enjoying puzzles and loving her new play-doh ice cream set. She suddenly tried and successfully could turn knobs and open doors. I wanted to write about how she was becoming a little girl instead of a toddler and how that brought feelings of joy and sadness together.

And then my life changed drastically. I was offered a part-time opportunity with a public relations firm and Kate would be going to school three days a week. I frantically began searching the area for the best school/daycare situation for her. It broke my heart. Nothing fit perfectly and I had to compromise no matter what I chose. I finally settled on a brand new place that had just opened at the beginning of the year. It had only a few kids in Kate's class at that point and they were willing to work with my weird Monday, Tuesday, Thursday schedule. My first day would be January 31.

The first week went far worse than I ever could have imagined. Overall, Kate did okay. She didn't cry or scream when I left like other children do, but she did have a major potty accident--something that had not happened ever before. I can't describe how terrible I felt...like I had failed her.

And just when I didn't think things could get worse, they did. My mom went into the hospital on January 24...or maybe the 25th. I didn't learn she was there for two days. I was so engrossed in preparing for work and finding the perfect school for Kate that I wasn't paying much attention. Besides, mom had been in and out so many times, it almost seemed routine. It didn't seem to be going well this time, though. Keith and I talked about going to visit over the weekend. Kate was still sick and actually on antibiotics, so we decided to stay away. Besides, we had lots of plans to see mom and dad in February, so we would let her get healthy.

The problem is she never got healthy and never left the hospital. Things headed down a terrible path beginning my first day of work. Ironic, right? Mom couldn't breathe and agreed to go on a ventilator. My dad had called on Tues to tell me that things were really bad and that she was sedated and that the next 24-48 hours were critical. When we spoke again on Thursday, I heard my dad crying and knew things were as bad as I suspected. He called again at 6am on Friday morning and I was in the car, packed within 30 minutes. Who knew the first time I'd be away from Kate for two days would be to say goodbye to my mom? I always thought mom would be the one I left Kate with when I was finally brave enough to go away for a weekend.

So now she is gone and the gaping hole left in my heart and the hearts of so many throbs with emptiness and sorrow. Kate has never experienced loss...when my mother died, Kate was just over a year old, so she has no memories of that loss. And, we have only lost three toys in her 3 years of life (and one toy we amazingly found just before her 3rd birthday). Not to mention a toy certainly is not a grandmother. She knew grandma had been sick. We prayed for her so often and had been praying nightly for her up to her death. When I told her what happened, she quietly lay next to both Keith and me during our morning snuggle, absorbing it all. I told her grandma was with God and Jesus and we would not see her anymore. I told her Papa Paul was very sad and that he needed us to cheer him up. I'm thankful she's young enough not to feel the sense of loss the rest of us feel and am so happy that she has accepted the loss so matter of factly. We remember grandma with pictures, oodles of disney gear that she had purchased and most of all, the fun we had with her, but she does not ask where she is or why she didn't come to her birthday party and I find this completely and utterly amazing.

So this year, filled with changes and sadness has been a rough start. I know it will get better--we have much to celebrate this year as Keith and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage and I will turn 40 (somehow that is going to be a happy occasion, I think...). I do have much to be thankful for even if I miss staying home with Kate more than I ever imagined I could. It's amazing how much I miss the small things most: snuggling in bed reading until we felt like getting up, having a jammy day if we felt like it, and heading off to Sea World or some other fun destination on a whim. But, she is learning so much at her new school and adjusting very well .

I spoke with my wise Grandma Raymond today. How I love her. A mother of 10, and eighty-something years old (for some reason, I cannot remember right now). Anyway, she told me the biggest shock for her when she went back to work was how well the children did without her. She said she came home and dinner was on the table with homemade cake (you rock, Aunt Lillian!). She just couldn't believe it. Letting go is always the hardest part of parenting, she said.